I simply can not get onboard the X-Factor phenomenon. Granted, I balled like a baby when abstractly crazy Susan Boyle belted out her show tune, and, yes, I maintain the 24x7, 365 days a year unrelenting desire to make many babies with Cheryl Cole, and, yes, I can't help but respect Simon Cowell for being a guy who's made a fortune by being an a-hole (sort of my own life plan, not going as well on the financial part yet), but, still, c'mon, it's a musical wrapped inside a tear jerker framed by unapologetic tween chick screams. They can wrap it up in hot women all they want, but it's still way inside The Red Tent, off limits to dudes.
And I say this even now with a new admiration for X-Factor U.K. judge Tulisa Contostavlos, whose name I have promised to spell correctly, even when mesmerized at the sight of her ample Grecian melons and her even more impressive upskirt panties peek while partying this weekend in London. Tulisa really does bring the entire package to bear. Enjoy.