brian-mcgee - January 28, 2019
Pour one out because today, Ariel Winter is old enough to drink. Doesn't that just make you feel good about things? Aren't you the type of person who's only happy when someone else is happy? Great, because the only thing that's going to make you happy today is seeing nip slips and the like from birthday girl Ariel Winter, who is happy to finally be able to taste alcohol later this evening.
Do you honestly think that I'm naive enough to think that Ariel Winter has never had alcohol before today? I'm sure there are people who haven't, like Mormons or something, but I think the vast majority of people have tasted alcohol long before their 21st birthday. They're just getting a head start on acquiring a taste for alcohol, which often doesn't happen until your thirties.
If you do happen to enjoy the taste of alcohol from the very first sip, you should definitely look into a liver donor around your 30th. Thankfully Ariel Winter's got a little less than a decade to enjoy this liver if she hasn't been playing things smartly. So happy birthday Ariel Winter, you don't look a day over 21 and your liver doesn't look pickled yet. Drink up!