Claudia Romani Bikini For America

It is strange how the mind works. Seeing Claudia Romani down on all fours in that white bikini gives me a sudden craving for milk. Luckily for me, I am not lactose intolerant. Unfortunately for me I am once again finding myself wishing I could trade places with an athletic ball, or young calf.  

It is probably a good thing all the renaissance artists have long since passed away, because if they got a look at the curves on this muse it would be impossible for them to create a statue of anyone else. I also imagine it would be difficult to wield a hammer and chisel while simultaneously wielding a constant erection. If she really had been around a thousand years ago, men today would be popping little blue pills named Claudia.   

I have no trouble believing, and see no evidence to the contrary, that the word ‘curvy’ was created because of her in an attempt to accurately describe what had been bestowed upon mankind. When the blood leaves my brain, turning it to mush, it is nice to have simple words available for use as I resort back to my caveman roots. “She curvy. Me want to be there.”

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}