Ebonee Davis Topless Queen

If thigh gaps are still in season then Ebonee Davis’s schedule is going to be booked solid until winter, because I have not seen anything with such a wide part between it since Moses parted the Red Sea. If all the highways in this country were as wide as her thighs there would never be another traffic jam. I could do cartwheels down the carpool lane during rush hour and no one would even notice. Kind of like when a Honda Civic is parked next to a Camaro, everyone would say, “What Civic?”  

I have it on good authority that Ebonee’s nickname is Pink Floyd, because she is the personification of the dark side of the moon. That may send a bit of a mixed signal since her eye shadow makes it look like she is in a David Bowie cover band, may he rest in peace. The real question is whether or not Major Tom will be making a visit to ground control in the foreseeable future. My magic 8-ball says, “Better not tell you now.” Which means I will have to consult the gypsy woman that lives down the street and see if she can foretell with any more accuracy.

Photo Credit: Bryce Thompson