Edin LaVieu On A California King

 It should be noted that the California King in the title is not referencing an actual person. As far as I know there is no king in the state of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was unseated long ago and I do not believe a suitable replacement was ever found. I submitted my resume multiple times but they never got back to me, so I am forced to assume that they were all lost in the mail due to the piss-poor performance of our United States Postal Service. I submitted all of my resumes via email, but I do not see how that is relevant. 

No, the California King referred to here is only a bed. While the rest of us are forced to be satisfied on a mere 80 inches of length, those Californians are sleeping in the lap of luxury. If only the rest of the states could get their acts together and start manufacturing mattresses more suitable to the needs of the consumer; maybe then they could get in on the action and usurp California's monopoly over the mattress industry. I can only imagine what kind of beast Texas has in store for us.   

Photo Credit: Photographer Joren Moreil for B-Authentique