Is This Pippa Middleton Topless on a Boat? Is It Kate Middleton Topless? Is My Head Exploding?

A Czech tabloid site has been  running some pictures that are allegedly never before seen shots of our new super lust Pippa Middleton sans top, i.e. topless, i.e. regally bare, i.e., I can barely breathe from the overwhelming desire to make many royal babies. They seem to be from the same Ibiza yachting fun time trip where we previously posted hot bikini picture of Queen-to-be Kate Middleton (you know, before we discovered that Kate had an even hotter little sister and it's not like we can actually have both sisters, right? I mean, that would be outrageous! Even as I imagine it now, over and over again).  While there were initial rumors that these topless bikini pictures might actually be Kate Middleton herself, matching white side-tie bikinis here these pictures seem to undoubtedly gives us our first glance at the royal sister's monarchial funbags and literally cause us to fall head over gonads into deeper and deeper lust with our heavenly Pippa.

And. we're not the only ones with Pippa fever. Steve Hirsch and our good friends at Vivid sent us a copy of a letter they fired off to Pippa offering the regal beagle $5 Million for her on-camera role in just one sex scene in a Vivid adult feature. When you add in the fee Vivid will have to pay me to co-star in that scene with Pippa, well, the total price tag will still be $5 Million. Oh, dare to dream, Vivid, please, on our behalf.

And, to think, I never really followed the British royals before. That changes today. Oh, Pippa, you have rocked my world. Enjoy.