Natalie Portman Half-Nudie in No Strings Attached (VIDEO) (with bonus happy engagement photos)

In case you haven't seen, here's the red-band (meaning, 'f-word' included) version of the trailer for the upcoming Ashton Kutcher and Hebrew School hottie Natalie Portman sexy-comedy, No Strings Attached. That's what the kids say these days when they mean sex without the hassle of a real relationship, or, as we used to call it, sex run by guys. The movie looks promising. Natalie Portman half-naked looks even more promising. Albeit, I'm still recovering from the trauma of her recently announced engagement to some ballerina dude and the notification of her pending baby-having moment. Threw me right into a bender that sent me crashing into the family Christmas Tree and causing a small fire. Not at my own home, the neighbor's, but let's just assume I'm off their invite list next Yuletide. Enjoy.

Oh, well, I don't want to send off Natalie Portman into ballet marital bliss and motherhood and the potential end of the sexy Natalie Portman era without a little bonus set of photos, kind of a 'way we were' look back at how I will forever remember Natalie, on the beach, oh, those many years ago: