Salma Hayek Goes Sheer Top Hotness For George Clooney’s Oscar After Party

My Oscar after party consisted of me and two friends trying to move Large Marge from Apartment 3B off my Ikea coffee table where she landed in a snooze after her eleventh martini, or what I called martinis as I had neither gin or vodka or vermouth in the house, so it was basically Four Loko served in a plastic martini glass with stuffed olives that I have to believe were still edible two years past their expiration date. Those dates are really just approximations, right? Either way, let's just call it a very dirty martini.

I'd have to say, George Clooney did my fiesta one better. Leave it to Clooney to get the super hot A-list celeb girls to his party and competing with each other for who could look hotter and showier, not the least of whom was Salma Hayek, who looked wickedly en fuego in her sheer little bit of clothing that she wore while waiting in line with the other girls for Clooney inspection. I really man-hate respect that guy. Bastard. Enjoy.