Candice Swanepoel’s Victoria’s Secret Bikini Collab!

Candice Swanepoel is arguably the hottest farmer’s daughter you’ve ever fantasized about until you remember South African Colonialism, but try not to let that ruin the mood.

The Victoria's Secret lifer, has been working with the brand forever and even when they decided to kill off the hot models they call angels and replace them with woke friendly talent, which for some reason also featured Kardashians, Jenners and Hailey Baldwin, which isn't very diverse or woke to the average observer.

It was always assumed that Victoria's Secret gave Candice her own collection or brand, that they kept separate from the core brand, but now that they are allowed to re-integrate the oppressed and marginalized hot models, they are doing collabs.

The Victoria’s Secret angel, eternal sun goddess, and walking proof that God has a favorite is the daughter of a South African farmer. This runway-strutting, lingerie-gliding superhuman was raised on a far in South Africa like genetically blessed character from a sun-drenched, post-apartheid country song.

The “farmer’s daughter” fantasy isn’t just an American thing with Daisy Dukes and hay bales. Thanks to Swanepoel, South Africa has entered the race, and it brought a blonde bombshell with it.

We can easily imagine Candice early mornings milking cows, afternoons picking fruit, and evenings spent cooking a feast for the family to have energy for tomorrow's work.

She didn’t just hoe in full glam, but when the fantasy reaches peak denim-short euphoria…You remember: South African farmer.

Which means the words “colonialasm", "slavery", “Boer Wars" and mood almost killed like an underperforming farm hand.

The fantasy is solid—until you start Googling “Dutch settlers” and realize your boner is built on an imperial timeline.

In the great crop field of life, Candice is the harvest and we’re just humble peasants, thankful for the view.

Check out this photoshoot.