Jessica Alba and Lindsay Lohan Not Quite Nude in Machete (VIDEO)

Well, reviews are in on Machete and there's some good news and bad news. The good news, lots of kick-ass machete-ness and badass-ness and some hot shots of the likes of Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriquez, and Lindsay Lohan. The bad news, it looks like most of the actual nakedness of our sexy celebrities is either covered or faked. The Jessica Alba nude shower scene (below) is not only brief and hard to make out, but apparently her bare bottom may very well be a Photoshop creation (filmed scene in her undies). And Lindsay Lohan topless, well, seems to be a combination of cuts from the original Grindhouse spoof trailer, a body double, and some genuine Lindsay Lohan body, but covered discreetly with lengthy hair. The sexy bomb fizzles just a bit. Still, I'll take the glass-is-half-full view and say, even a very little is better than nothing, and gives me hope for some real nudity from these two hot ladies of cinema in the near future. Enjoy.

Watch the (Very Brief) Video:

Okay, here's Lindsay Lohan, but, bear in mind, the waterfall pictures are from the original Grindhouse trailer version of Machete (so, not Lindsay) and some of the other shots of Lindsay Lohan are actually a body double. Don't complain to me, you know how I would have made this movie!