READER FIND: Megan Stevenson’s New Topless Scenes From “Get Shorty”

There is something extra satisfying about a seeing a naked woman lying on her back when their boobs are of the natural variety. Implants cause an unnatural rebellion against gravity that I cannot support. They create Indian burial mounds that house my sexual desires. But natural boobs spread to allow for the creation of the great plains, revealing the existence of their sternum. Seeing the rib meat lets the observer know that the size of the boobs have nothing to do with the size of the lady.

Boob fat can be quite deceiving. A big lass could have double D knockers, it is one of the main benefits that goes along with the plus size woman—like buying a body wash that comes with an extra 30% for free—but that does not mean her girls will stick around if she loses the extra weight. If she decides to go keto, or whatever other hot diet is trending, she could end up losing half of her present volume.

It is a sad reality, but one that needs to be taken into consideration. If you date a big girl with the hopes of sneaking in before she loses the weight and gains self-esteem, you should be aware of what she will look like without the baby fat. In these instances a police sketch artist may be of some use.

Photo Credit: Mr. Skin