Alexa Reynen Has My Undivided Attention

 With the winter season approaching as fast as it seems to be I think it is wise to give Alexa Reynen this timely warning. Under no circumstances should she ever be talked into going streaking in the snow. With just how pale both her skin and hair are if she were to get lost we would not be able to find her until the thawing in the spring.

This warning applies to all of you pasty skinned mofos. Do not give into the peer pressure of everyone who says skinny dipping while doing the polar bear plunge is a good idea. It is not a good idea. If you get lost under the ice some lonely ice fishermen is going to mistake your frozen corpse for a ghost which will cause him to have a heart attack. And that will be the real tragedy. I feel no pity for the man who thought he could impress a girl by flaunting his shrunken penis, but the man who wanted a few hours of solitude only to have it ruined by the sight of his iced maggot would be the real tragedy.   

Photo Credit: Photographer Jared Thomas Kocka