bill-swift - September 17, 2016
As if my work life wasn't rich and full enough, and by rich, I don't mean financially, thanks boss, but definitely a 9-5 filled with the most wonderful of visual images and faptastic fun time photos. But when the work day is done, like most of you, I want to pour myself 30-40 of the complementary near beers I receive from sponsors and unwind in front of the biggest damn monitor I can find and retinal scan a whole lot of pornography. Honesty means never having to remember if you're story is straight.
I've now merged my two passions of work and play with rather intensive reviews of some of the more prominent adult entertainment sites on the world wide web. It's my job, my duty, and a responsibility I take as seriously as anything in life. So, modestly so. Consider this my community services hours for that property crime I'm quite certain I was unfairly fingered.
In today's Bill Goes Adult, I take a close and private inspection of YouPorn. What can be said of YouPorn that hasn't already been said in the muffled gratitude of tens of millions of mature themed entertainment fans? Well, let me just pile on a bit with my enthusiasm for this signature porn site.
YouPorn. The name alone is outright perfect. As you know, I'm a man easily confused by metaphors and puns and wacky alliterations. I want to judge a book precisely by its cover. YouPorn is perfect. It's porn, for you. It could not be any simpler. Or any move comprehensive in terms of filling my dance card for the evening.
Like the best sites on the Web, there is no messing around navigation wise when you click on YouPorn. There's porn right there on the landing page. A ton of it. Categorized, sorted, ranked, and recommended. How do they know to recommend exactly what you'd like? It's magic. The good kind. Like Glinda, the Good Witch of the North. Only, she's naked and on all fours and... well, you have to search around YouPorn to visualize yourself the rest of that naughty tale.
YouPorn offers the perfect combination of ease of use and simple navigation, along with a tremendous girth if you will of content. You couldn't possibly wade through ten percent of what they have to offer in erotic visuals even if you had 72 hours in your day, not to mention a bushel full of dicks. Some viewers like to hunt and peck for their favorite content, others like to get lost in the recommends and follow-ons. YouPorn allows both in great measure.
You could worse with the rest of your day than changing your messaging status to Gone Fishing and spend a few minutes to hours to days discovering your own favorites you probably never knew even existed inside of you. They most certainly exist on YouPorn. I give it Four Melania's. I was going to say Four Hillary's, but why ruin the mood? Enjoy.