brian-mcgee - October 1, 2018
It's always depressing when you find out that someone with a high powered job was born several years after you. The only quicker way to get depressed is by looking at the sign in the liquor store window reminding you that people born the year you graduated high school can now legally buy beer.
Nevertheless, Chiara Ferragni—no relation to Lou Ferrigno for obvious reasons—is an Italian fashion designer who was born in 1987. Top Gun is older than she is. The Bears, Mets, and 76ers haven't won championships in her lifetime. It's nuts.
Yet, when you think about it positively, you could say that Chiara Ferragni's nipples are younger than those things. That puts a positive spin on things that might help you stop being such a god damned sad sack all the time. It's like pulling teeth to get you to take a compliment, jesus.
So yeah, Chiara Ferragni may have been born after Orson Welles died, but that doesn't mean you won't enjoy looking at how nicely her nips poke through the sheer fabric of her sweater. It's the kind of thing where age truly doesn't matter. Wait, that sounds much worse than I meant.
Photo Credit: Splash News