Kim Kardashian Flashes the Asstastic, Deftly Hides the Goods

The gossip world is abuzz with news that Kim Kardashian is now dating NBA player Kris Humphries; apparently Kim has abandoned football and is now exploring other sports. Based on her current boot knocking trajectory, she should be dirty dancing with A-Rod by September 2011. Of course, this could be a P.R. stunt; remember that fame points are to the Kardashians what strength points are to D&D fighters.

Speaking of unreal Kardashian parts, Kim put her hourglass asstastic on display this weekend in the humble orange color and nearly provided us a glimpse into V.I.P. only section under her dress. But, Kim recalled her basic training and her mom's advice that the cooch is reserved for business only, and deftly used a handbag stretch and leg squeeze combination move to cover up her bedazzled lady nest. Still, who's complaining. Unless you start appearing on SportsCenter highlight reels, this is as close to the Kim Kardashian promised land as you may ever get. Enjoy.

Photo credit: Fame