brian-mcgee - January 8, 2019
This one time when I was in Kindergarten, I was hanging out with my buddies Steve and Sean. North Jersey in the mid-80s was a place where virtually anything and everything could kill you, which is why we stayed mostly in one of our backyards.
I think we were at Steve's house and there was this old rotten ass log sitting in the corner of his backyard. Being stupid five year olds, we didn't know any better, so when Steve suggested that we all pee on this hollowed out piece of detritus, it seemed like a great idea.
Little did any of us know that there was a bee hive in this log, home to a pack of the most vicious fucking bees you've ever seen in your life. No sooner do the first drips of pee hit this log than approximately five hundred bees fly out and begin stinging us. I ran all the way home, having suffered roughly two dozen stings.
Thankfully I got my unit put away before the bees attacked, so there was no permanent damage done, but needless to say there were few, if any, unsupervised playdates after that. What does that have to do with Kim Kardashian's nipples you ask? Nothing. Whatsoever.
Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA