Kathleen Sorbara Is The Only Person I’d Let Pour Me A Drink

 Normally I prefer to make my own drinks due to my tendency of getting roofied by older gentlemen in what I am assured were not gay bars. I do not even let my mother pour me a drink because I would not put it past her to sell me to the highest bidder. The woman has a mortgage to pay and I turned her down for the cash, so I think it is plausible.

The only reason I bring this up is because I would be willing to throw caution to the wind in order to drink whatever Kathleen Sobara is serving. I would do it for a number of reasons, not least of which being to figure out what that red elixir is. If it turns out to cough syrup and this was all an elaborate charade staged my mother in order for me to take my medicine, then well played, you bitch. 

There should be a service that parents can call that will send big breasted women to give medicine to unwilling kids. I bet it would work in most cases. I don't know what can be done for girls. Send them a pony, maybe? 

Photo Credit: Kathleen Sobara by Photographers Charlotte Patterson & Frankie Carino