Rhian Sugden and Sam Cooke Throwdown Their Tops in the Battle of the Boobtastic

Four funbags enter, only two leave. It's the rule. It's always been the rule. It shall forever more be the rule. Each week we line up two luscious and lovely ladies with heaven sent chest puppies to compete in the Thunderdome of the hot melons. We don't do this for sport or sheer entertainment or even prurient passion, we do it for... no, wait, those last three were the reasons. My notes got mixed up.

This week's Battle of the Boobtastic features two women I'd gladly shove any of you out of my car on the freeway just to be alone with. Rhian Sugden, my blonde natural betty, and Sam Cooke, whose body makes me almost want to get a real job. That's powerful on both ends of the ring. But only one woman may walk home with the trophy made entirely of expired cheese. And you must decide. Whose ta-ta's reign supreme?