And The Best Nips Award Goes To…

 I have become much more environmentally conscience as of late which has lead me to think about different things I could change in my life in order to better the world. Things like not using towels as single use tissues before throwing them away. Even the littlest change can make a big impact, so I am told. 

After looking at the state of this little lady's nipples I was struck with an amazing idea. So many resources are wasted on metal every year in order to make juicers. Why not replace them with the rock hard nips of third world immigrants? We would cut down on waste and they might even be cheaper than the current products. 

If you doubt those nips are up for the job then you are grossly underestimating the resiliency of the human nipple. Halve an orange in two and have the woman lie down on a giant sponge in a chilly room and you will be in business. When you have done the dirty work all that will be left to do is to wring out that sponge. Never will a glass of O.J. have tasted so sweet.  

Photo Credit: Yaoyao vt Borja Alvarez for P Magazine