Selena Gomez Sexy Cute Camel Toey Weekend Almost Ruined By The Devil’s Midget

Oh, how we slaved and slaved to cut out the horrid literal and figurative image of that little YouTube lesbian singing sensation that has stolen (momentarily) the sensual thoughts of our be-lusted young Selena Gomez, who had an otherwise sextastic weekend flashing chest and legs and maybe even a hint of camel toe, at the zoo no less, suck on that irony. He ruins everything with his little baby midget paws and N.Y.C. playwright lady glasses and fake gang signs, so, we nixed him. As we wish Selena would do from her life, so we can focus on her hotness without having to barf in our collective mouths just a bit every time we see Little Fred Riding Hood touching and grabbing our diva. Enjoy.

(With all the hullabaloo these days surrounding what young women should or should not be vaccinated again, can't we start with some kind of Justin Bieber vaccine? If I actually paid my taxes, that's where I'd want my money to go.)